Where’s Jan?

So when I finished Maureen McCormick’s memoir and thought, well, that’s several hours of my life that I’ll never get back, I noticed in the acknowledgments that she thanks every major cast member from The Brady Bunch show except Eve Plumb, Jan. Isn’t that curious?

Yeah, you’re right. Not so much. But it still got me thinking. So I looked up Eve Plumb on wikipedia. And I learned that Plumb is an artist. She paints. Her wikipedia page has a link to her site that displays many of her paintings. I thought some of them were kind of cool. Like these:

I like the way tablecloth contrasts with the wood wainscoting and wood chair.

I like the sharp shadows in t his one. And the coffee cup. Plumb seems to have a thing for coffee cups and mugs. Me too.

I like the POV of this one and the people at the next table. Although the salt and pepper shakers seem out of place. But what do I know, right?

This one’s interesting too. Plumb seems to have a thing for unoccupied seats at tables. Makes you wonder if she dines a lone a lot. Anyway, I like it.

What caught my attention in this one was the sign that reads “New Low Price,” which seems odd but interesting associated with apples or perhaps red peppers. I mean, it’s the kind of thing you’d expect to see attached to real estate sign or a car but not fruits and veggies. I wonder what her motivation was for doing that.

This one is entitled Room Service. So why the two green apples? I like the contrast with the white linen napkin, though.

Another empty chair and cup of coffee.

I really like this one. The feel of it. The warm golden colors and the starker sunlight. Plus that little blue pitcher really anchors it somehow. I suppose that is why it is called Blue Pitcher. I dig the specific style of chairs and table. It reminds me of the kind in my grandparents kitchen in their house in West Virginia. Although different colors.

Something GenX about this, which make sense since Generation X has been dubbed the Jan Brady of generation, sandwiched between two more dramatic attention-seeking generation.

I suppose that Eve Plumb’s life hasn’t been nearly as dramatic as Maureen McCormick’s since The Brady Bunch ended, but somehow I think she, Eve, would be more interesting to talk to.

Forget about Maureen and Barry. What about Maureen and Eve?

Whilst googling Eve Plumb I came across some articles, like this one from the New York Post, that claimed Maureen McCormick was going to reveal a lesbian affair with Eve Plumb. Whoa! Baby!

Of course, if it sounds to good to be true then it probably is. If it was true McCormick seems to have decided to leave it out of her book. At least, as far as I can tell. But I’m only about half way into it. So there’s still a chance… Yeah, I know, not likely. But a guy can dream can’t he?

Hmm. That give me an idea: celebrity impersonators doing porn. What do you think? Yeah, probably already been done.

So I’m into the part following The Brady Bunch went off the air. At which point McCormick quickly found her way to moving out on her own, losing her virginity, having two abortions, and developing a wicked a cocaine habit. Apparently, she was hanging with some pretty big drug dealers and doing a lot of blow, enough to earn her the nickname “Hoover.” Was snorting coke the only reason, Maureen? Come on. It is a tell all after all.

Well, she did divulge that upon breaking up with her coke-snorting boyfriend that he dumped a milkshake over her head, after which they proceeded to scream and fight outside, which made me feel a white trash sort of kinship with her.

Anyway. I thought the writing got better when she was covering her drug use. It seemed more authentic, less affected or whatever.