Cousin John tailgates UoI football game, throws bologna at passing females

Recently my cousin John, who lives in Iowa, sent me this email w/ picture:

I tailgated with this guy Robert last week. When he said he worked in the movies, I pitched him my idea about a comedy featuring doctors in the Korean War. After an hour of talking it over he said “You’re drunk and I keep telling you I tear ticket at the Iowa City Carmike Cinema” Then I fell over the keg and threw up. Incidentally Robert is the first person to ever beat me in a game of “Throw balogna slices trying to get them to stick to the legs of unsuspecting girls walking by in shorts”. He won 23 to 19. However, I redeemed my self by beating him 30 to 0 in the “Get the hell beat out of you by a girl that got balogna thrown at her” contest. That’s right!!! A shut out. Not only did every girl I hit with meat slap me stupid but 11 girls he hit preffered to stomp me bloody instead of him. That’s because I’ve got a way with the ladies. I’m not one to kiss and tell. So I’ll just say I still have no peripheral vision in my right eye and leave it at that. John


2 responses to “Cousin John tailgates UoI football game, throws bologna at passing females

  1. Yeah. I was pretty pleased with that title myself.

    And my cuz can be a pretty funny guy. Once, in Vegas, he got a little loaded at a bar that was doing an open mic night and all the people around him kept urging him to go up, because they thought he was funny. So finally, he did. And he did pretty well. Well enough for the guy running the open mic to ask him back to host the open mic the following night. They compt his room for the weekends. He’s still an computer engineer, for anyway, but a damn funny one.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s