Colleen gets Addy to school in the mornings, of course, since Addy stays at the house during the week.
I pick Addy up from school each afternoon and take her back to the house. We do homework and I get dinner started. Depending on what time Colleen gets home, we eat dinner together or Addy and I eat together and Colleen eats when she gets home. Do most families eat dinner together during the week? Is it possible. I suppose it is for some. Not all the time for us. But then it’s always pretty much been that way.
Anyhoo…after dinner and homework are dispensed with, we all hang out, watch some TV, play some games. Our current family favorites are Sorry and Rat-a-Tat-Cat. For anyone unfamiliar with Rat-a-Tat-Cat we highly recommend it. Very fun. Until it is bedtime for Addy, usually about 8pm.
Our routine is pretty much the same as before the separation, but now I give Addy a piggy back ride (while I stille can; very soon she’s going to be too big for me to carry on my back, a day I am not looking fwd to) to her bed, give her a hug and a kiss and tell her that I will see her tomorrow after school. Then I head to the apartment.
Except some nights Colleen and I will hang out and watch a movie or some TV or just talk. It depends. Does that seem strange? For a couple that has just separated to want to spend time together? Maybe it is. I don’t know. I haven’t researched it in depth. I only know the deal for Colleen and myself. And the deal is that some night we want to hang out. And some nights I want to get back to the apartment to right. And some nights Colleen needs to do some work. Etc. etc.
We’re not really interested in doing what is typical or expected. We not really considering what is typical or expected. We’re just sort of finding our own way, which is typical for the both of us.
But back to our routine, another thing that is different about it. That would be the weekend. We alternate. One weekend at the house the next weekend at the apartment. This weekend Addy’s here with me.That’s a pretty standard set up for separated/divorced couples, right. Seems to be anyway. But it’s not like we won’t see Colleen at all. In fact, usually whichever one of us has Addy will take her to swimming lessons (right now, soon it will be soccer) and the other will meet up with the other two there. Then we’ll go get some lunch together. Except this weekend Colleen’s got an appointment, so we’ll see her later at the house, where Addy and I will go after doing some grocery shopping. I need to do laundry and I do it at the house, which is cool because otherwise I’d dropping a lot of quarters at a laundry mat, which would also mean blocking out big chunks of time to sit around a laundry mat to do laundry. No fun, as I recall from my college days, although in those days I had more time on my hands, and the laundry mat was an interesting place to people watch, although not necessarily to meet, especially at 3am. Like the time this twitchy woman came up to me to tell me that the world was going to end soon and she just had to tell me because she couldn’t live with my blood on her hands.
“How soon?” I wanted to know.
“Very soon,” she said intensely.
And I said, “Like I don’t need to pay off my credit cards soon or don’t plan on having any kids soon?”
She didn’t seem quite sure what to say to that and just sort of wandered away. You spend enough time in laundry mat during the wee hours of the morning and you figure out how to deal with these people, deflect their strange behavior. In a way, it was kind of interesting, even fun sometimes. But that was year ago, now I’d just assume be left alone and have a comfy chair to kick back in while my clothes are cycling.
I don’t know what the hell that has to do with anything but…speaking of laundry, I try to cycle it and fold whatever is in the dryer while I’m at the house, before leaving for the night. Colleen tells me I don’t have to. I know that. I do it because I want to, because it needs to be done. Things need to be done. I’m there. I can do it. So I do it.
I’m going to stop now, because I fear I’m going on too long. And I can’t help thinking that what I’m writing really tells the story of what we’re going through, what we’re doing. Maybe that isn’t even possible. I don’t know.
Anyway…I’m tired. And I want to spend some time with Addy, watching a movie.