change is good, open windows, and other cliches.

I know that when people say these things they are only trying to be helpful, and I appreciate it. However….

When I hear “Change is good,” I can’t help thinking of that line from You’ve Got Mail:

People are always saying that change is a good thing. But all they’re really saying is that something you didn’t want to happen at all… has happened. … the truth is… I’m heartbroken. I feel as if a part of me has died … and no one can ever make it right.

That’s how I feel. Granted, I chopped that quote up, but I don’t own a charming book store and my mother hasn’t died, so it only seemed appropriate.

And then there is the ever popular, God doesn’t close a door without opening a window, which, I got tell you, sounds a little macbre. I mean, what does God want me to do? Jump out the window?

Still, I suppose that cliches have their function. People want and need to provide comfort and when you don’t know what to say, when you know that nothing you say can really fix what’s been broken, a cliche gives you something to say, some way to say I’m sorry that you’re hurting and hope that you will soon be better. I care. And that is a good thing.

Perhaps one of the best things that anyone has said to me came from my cousin, who urged me to “Don’t let anyone tell you what you need. If you want to stay in bed with the covers over your head for a couple of days or gorge on ice cream then do that.”


6 responses to “change is good, open windows, and other cliches.

  1. Change is not good, change is merely different. Whether it’s good or bad depends on what we make of it, and that depends on what we have to work with after the change. I have been forced to react to change caused by others all my life. That doesn’t make me a “change master”, it just leaves me a scarred individual who has lived through more than most. Having survived changes doesn’t prepare me for the next change it just makes me a survivor.

    • Well, all I know is that this change sucks! Perhaps because I’m in it. I’m willing to concede that in time I’ll see this change as positive, but I simply cannot do that right now.

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