It seems to be…

… part of my new routine to wake up wracked with anxiety. Before, especially this past winter, I could hardly drag my ass out of bed. Now, I’m waking up earlier and earlier. No doubt the change in weather has something to do with that. Also, going off my meds I think has made a difference. I don’t mind waking up early. I always used to. But the anxiety I could do without. Of course, that no doubt is related to my impending lay off. Each day is another day closer to me being jobless.

Yesterday was hard. Probably because the day before had been quite stressful, what with the phone interview I had, which turned out to be disappointing because it is only temporary contract work. And I know, I know, I told myself I wasn’t going to stress about it — there was no point. But I can’t seem to help it.

Later in the evening on Monday, after my interview, I was able to find three jobs to apply for. That made me feel good, better anyway.  But yesterday I found nothing. I hate when I can’t take any action towards finding a new job. It makes me feel  helpless, and that makes me feel hopeless.

If the unemployment situation weren’t so bad I might not be so stressed, but the fact is that it is. I know one guy that it took 8 months to find a new job, and he had to relocate to a new state. Another guy I know is going on 6 months and is still looking. Others have been searching even longer — years even. That is not encouraging.

I suppose that I got my hopes up a bit too much with this phone interview deal. I allowed myself to believe prematurely that I could simply walk right from this job into a new one, a better one. What are the chances of that in this job market?

Well, nothing to do be press on. At least I can enjoy this weekend with my daughter as we travel to visit my brother and his family.

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