With each passing day, as I get closer and closer to my end date (August 9th), I seem to be more and more reluctant to leave work each day. It seemed particularly difficult to leave today. I guess it is because of the long 4th of July weekend I just spent with my daughter visiting my brother and his family in Indiana. It was near perfect weather, with only a bit of rain on the morning of the 4th, and that quickly dried up as the morning progressed. Neither my daughter nor I wanted to leave.  On the long drive back to Metro Detroit (5 hours) I found myself reflecting on the possibility of actually moving down there, living near my brother, but of course that would require a serious sacrifice — moving away from my daughter. Not sure I could do that.

It’s strange to feel this sudden attachment to my job when so recently, before I knew I was going to lose my job, I was so eager to leave each day — couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there, in fact. I suppose that’s because right now I have no new job to transition to, not yet anyway, and the odds are I won’t by time August 9th rolls around. Still, you never know.

For example: when I returned from 0ur trip to Indiana I had waiting for me in my email in-box an email that could lead to job. It was from a guy that I used to work with at the library. He does work for an import/export company and explained that what he does is similar to the cataloging work that I do now at the library and which he used to do. So… I’m pretty excited about that. Plus I had a plethora of email feeds from job-post sites.

Still, if nothing comes up I’ll probably have to move out of my apartment and back into my  parents’ house. The lease on my apartment is up at the end of September and I don’t feel very comfortable signing a new lease with no full-time job. But at least I have a place to go. I can’t imagine the stress of not having a place to retreat to. The immense pressure to find a job, do something to make money. I mean, the pressure I feel is pretty great already.





2 responses to “Reluctance

  1. He does work for an import/export company

    Didn’t George pretend to be in this line of work in an episode of Seinfeld? As for moving back in with your parents … believe me, I know the stress that must come with that after having a place of your own for so long. (At least you don’t have the amount of crap that I have, so that’s something.) That said, try to see it in terms of how much money you’re saving by doing so–which must be a lot–and the fact that it’s ultimately only temporary. My best advice is to try to find some kind of nearby retreat–maybe not the library, which might be depressing–but a nearby Starbucks, park, etc., where you can read and/or have wireless access. And keep your ears open among your nearby siblings for those who might be going on vacation, etc., even if just for a weekend, and immediately volunteer to house-sit. Keep at it. Something will come up.

    • Hmm. I’m not sure. But then I’ve not seen every Seinfeld episode, so….

      You’re right about me saving of money, though. That’s going to be the one upside. Plus, now that I’m off my meds and have some energy back I’ll be up for helping with upkeep at my parents’ place. They could use it.

      There’s a movie theater not far from my folks’ place which is going to be very tempting. Of course, first showings of the day for most movies is only $5 bucks, so….

      Not sure on the coffee shop situation in the immediate vicinity. I’ll have to check into that.

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