One thing that I used to really like….

…about my job at the library was spending my lunch breaks reading in the break room. I’d come in early, about 7:30am, and take my lunch early, about 11am, before anyone else, and I’d have the staff lounge to myself usually, and I could get in about 40 minutes of reading after wolfing down my lunch but anymore I just don’t enjoy it that much. Recently, it’s been too cold in there. Once the library got the AC working right it got so cold in the basement of the library that’s it’s difficult to stand. Of course, it is nice to read outside, as long as it is not too hot or raining or both, as it was yesterday.

But the other thing is that I just feel kind of glum being down there in that staff lounge by myself. It’s kind of dim and depressing now for some reason. I can’t really explain it. Perhaps I’m just in the process of separating myself from the place. I don’t know.

For a time I wasn’t even reading much on my lunch breaks. I’d read for maybe 10 minute and then I’d just sleep. But I think that had something to do with my meds, which I’ve since gotten off of.  The anti-depressants were good at first, they really evened my out, but after while they just seemed to make me sleepy; I had a hell of a time getting out of bed this past winter. It was rough. Another side-effect: hand tremors. I could not keep my hands from shaking. I hated it. Now that I’m off the meds I’ve got a lot more energy. I still get anxious some times but it hasn’t been bad at all. I just have to get moving and doing when that happens. And what’s wrong with that?

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