What I learned yesterday…

….was that it is going to be even harder than I thought to be jobless. Not that I thought it was going to be easy. I didn’t. Not at all.  But I didn’t expect to be as discouraged as I was so quickly. And it was just one day. What is it going to be like after a week? A month? Yikes!

Although the walk I took at 8pm did help. Probably I should start my day with a walk, and perhaps end it with a walk as well. What could it hurt, right? Nothing, except it might wear my shoes out more quickly.

It’s getting out of the apartment that is important. I spent the whole day inside, never getting out, when I could have, to clean my car and/or get the oil changed. I was far too inclined to stay inside, which was not good.

The thing I need to get better at is structuring my day. I’m not used to filling my time. With my job my time is always filled, there is always work to do, and I’ve been doing it for so long that I don’t really need to think about it. Perhaps that is a sign that it’s a good thing that I’m leaving it (although technically, I’m not leaving it, it’s leaving me, which feels like an  unfortunate trend in my life these days — sigh).

Well, in any case I’m going to be without a job soon and there’s nothing to be done about it but find a new one. But that’s no problem right because this the United States of America where anyone who works hard and plays by the rules can get a job and get ahead and be productive and prosperous and happy. Right?….Right?

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4 responses to “What I learned yesterday…

  1. One would think that if you followed all the rules the job would just fall into place – I wish it was that simple! Good luck on your job search though, you’ll figure out ways to fill your unemployment time in the mean time!

    • Yes. One would think. Or at least hope anyway. But as someone once said: Hope in one hand, crap in the other see which one fills up first.

  2. Walking in the morning and the evening brings me a little peace in a now chaotic life. I feel it when I don’t get those walks, an experience you might (or might not!) share.

    Typing these words is an excellent reminder, in my case, that if I get a walk now–before my son arises at 6am–I’ll actually get that walk. I should get on that. In a minute . . .

    On the time-filling front, I suck at that now. I get a day off and wonder, “What the heck am I supposed to do with all this?” I have faith that with a little time and exploration I’d be able to recreate my latter-day joy at all that unfilled time. I’d wish you the same, but I think the better wish here is that you don’t have the time to get into your comfort zone there!

    • Interesting point about getting into a comfort zone in terms of being unemployed. I suppose that could happen. Right not it doesn’t seem likely but I’m still working right now. I still have a purpose and routine, etc. Once I don’t I might get used to it, and that would not be good, which is why it is important to develop ones own schedule and routine, something that does not come naturally to me.

      I think back to my college days, both undergraduate and graduate, and recall how much more open-ended my schedule was, how less structured since I didn’t have class every day necessarily and things didn’t need to be done at the same time every day, and how I had time to for leisure thinking, to be creative, etc, and how I liked that. But that was before I needed to be so concerned about money. I was in my 20s then, and single and not a parents. Now I’m 43 and a single dad. Who has time to sit and contemplate matters of fiction and philosophy blah blah blah. Shit needs to get done, bills need to get paid, the future needs to planned for, taken into consideration, fretted over. Ugh!

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