last full week of work

Well, tomorrow begins my last full week of work. I wonder what it will be like?

On Tuesday I’ll only be working half a day because I have a dentist appointment in the morning. Need to get that in before my insurance runs out.

Then, on Thursday, there will be a party in my department for me, a send off of sorts. I wonder if that will be weird?

You know, now, I can understand the impulse to just walk out of a job once you’ve been given your notice for lay-0ff. Why stick around and drag things out? There have been these awkward moments with soon-to-be-former-colleagues. They wish you well, but you can help wondering if secretly they’re feeling relieved that it is me and not them. I suppose I would feel that way to a degree. It’s normal. I wouldn’t blame anyone for feeling that way. I suppose I could have just walked out or refused the send-off party. Not so long ago, I probably would have. But for some reason it seems important to stick it out, to go through all the steps. It might not always be easy, but it feels necessary.

It is going to be sad to leave, perhaps even more so than I realize right now. That’s what really makes me nervous. But it will also feel liberating in a way too. It already does. It’s just the uncertainty of what will come next that is so vexing.

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