And the winner was….

Well. It seems that my last post actually garnered some attention — four likes and two comments, although one of the comments was mine, a reply to the one comment that I got. Anyhoo… it would seem worthwhile to continue in this  vein.

So…without further ado….

The dating site I selected, when I finally did decide to jump into the online dating pool — yahooooo! –, was eHarmony. Not very original, I realize. And I dropped the cash for a whole year too. Why? I do not know. I should have just gone for a couple of months to start. I must have been feeling uncharacteristically optimistic. And impulsive. And quite frankly a bit lazy, unwilling to do any proper research into the matter.

I did hedge my bets by also joining as well, but only for a month. I will come right out and say that I did not garner one date from zoosk and after my month was up I cancelled my subscription.

But back to eHarmony, which I did pay for. The first thing I noticed about it is how controlled the environment is. You cannot just browse other people’s profiles. You have to be matched based on the questions you answer – and there are a lot of questions to answer first, before you can even start checking people out. eHarmony tells you who your matches are. I didn’t and don’t like that very much.

The site rational seems to be that they intended to create a safe environment for all members, which is noble I suppose but it takes some of the excitement out of the whole process in my opinion. You can even make secure phone calls where you can talk on the phone to another person without ever divulging your phone, which I suppose is a good option considering some of the pyschos and fatal attractions out there just waiting to happen.

The other thing I noticed about eHarmony was how boring most of the profiles are. Of course, I can only speak to the women’s profiles, because that’s all I saw. No men. People don’t seem very daring or original in creating their profiles. Pity. Because there is plenty of potential for humor. That’s what I tired to do anyway. And I have been told that in comparison my profile is much more interesting and entertaining than most other men’s profiles, but that might have been just flattery, a way to get into my pants, you know.

It seems to me the most commonly listed trait by women is that they are positive, have a positive outlook on life, etc. It struck me, reading these profiles, that as with make-up and dressing, women create profiles that would more likely impress other women than they would impress men. Do they realize this? Do they care? Who knows?

I’d venture to guess that much of what women put on their profiles men are not all that interested in. I will admit that the first thing I do is check out a woman’s photos. I’m not looking for a super model or anything like that. Don’t get wrong, if a chick who looked like supermodel wanted to go out on a date with me I’d go, but I just want to see if I find them physically attractive, first. Then I start digging deeper.

Beyond physical attraction, what do I look for in a potential date?

Tune in tomorrow.


Had an interesting chat online yesterday, with a woman I went to high school with who is also single and divorced, and has a couple of kids. It was about the difficulties of dating when you’re divorced and have kids, and, in our cases, unemployed. Of course, this used to be the domain of Boomers, once upon a time, but Generation X has hit that stage.

I told her that I wasn’t really considering dating seriously at this point, given my current circumstances. I mean, I’m 43, divorced with a ten-year-old daughter, unemployed, and if I don’t manage to snare a job soon, like before the end of August, I’ll likely be moving back in with my parents. Doesn’t really make me much of catch now does it. I mean, seriously, with a profile like that how much interest do you think I’m really going to generate on e-harmony or or someplace like that. She told me that I was a nice guy (debatable, depending on who you ask) and good looking (thanks ;-)) and the the right woman would look passed these things. Perhaps, but I just think it’s probably best if I get my financial house in order and get my career, such as it is, on track first.

I can’t help thinking of another woman that I spoke to recently, who, after her divorce, got involved with a guy who was unemployed. He ended up moving in with her. They broke up. He still lives there and is still unemployed. All because she is too nice to boot him out. Of course, the woman I was chatting with online said that she would never allow a man to live with her unless they were going to be married. She realized that might sound rigid, and snobbish, but she said it was mainly because of her kids. She didn’t even allow men to spend the night unless her kids weren’t going to be there. It made sense to me. I figured I’d have to be dating someone for at least awhile before I even introduced them to my daughter.

Also, I had to admit that I myself probably wouldn’t want to get very serious with a woman if she wasn’t at least working. I understand that plenty of people have financial woes these days, but I wouldn’t want to be taking on someone else’s serious financial burdens. I’ve even thought that if I ever were to consider marriage again I’d want a prenup to protect my daughter’s inheritance, such as it is likely to be. The more I think about it the more tangled and complicated it seems to get. Makes me want to just say forget the whole thing. I’m staying single for the rest of my life. Of course, that was my original intention and look what happened.

Hell, it’s hard enough to just get your schedule to sink up with another divorced person with kids, so that you can actually spend some time alone.