I keep thinking but nothing happens

I intend to write posts for this blog. I want to. But then I just don’t. Often, I don’t know what to write about. Or just as often there is too much to write about. I don’t know where to begin. Plus, much of what is rattling around in my head and my heart are things I simply don’t want to air in a public forum. It just seems pathetic, not to meantion petty and juvenile.

And so here I am, feeling stuck.

I’m tired, and sad. Any joy or relief is temporary, very temoporary, which in some ways is worse, because as soon as I realize that I feel okay I clench up with fear, wondering when it will drain away again.

ugh — this sucks!

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